If you don't watch The Bachelorette or read the tabloids, then you probably don't know who Jef Holm and Emily Maynard are. And perhaps that makes you one of the lucky ones. I, however, am addicted to all things Bachelor Nation, and so not only do I know who they are, but I am also aware that they've become big news this week - that is, big tabloid news.
Before we "hit that," settle down for a little recap, why doncha? Way back when, some dude named Brad was given a second chance to be the Bachelor (he totally messed it up the first time, by not picking anyone - can you believe it? Out of 25 hot Booby McFlirtypants, he couldn't find one girl to pretend to get engaged to!). From the moment Emily Maynard locked eyes with Brad, it was history in the making.
Yes, history. Because this relationship crashed and burned in no time flat. See, Emily has a little back story - one that both she and ABC uses to their full advantage. She was engaged to this race car driver and got pregnant. Mr. Race Car driver was in a horrible accident and died - leaving Emily an unwed mother.
Mr. Race Car Driver was pretty flush with cash, as was his family. So now Emily doesn't have to work, and is allegedly funded by Mr. Race Car Driver's parents.
So, when Emily and Brad also crashed and burned, ABC said, "You know what? We want to get more mileage out of your sad story, so become the Bachelorette, okay? We'll give you lots of money, and buy you a zillion different outfits - you'll never hurt for money again! And hey, who knows, you might even find true love (snicker, snicker)."
After meeting 25 guys and kissing about 20 of 'em, Emily settled on Jef Holm, a young, successful entrepreneur. The Bachelorette audience was divided: some loved Jef, while others couldn't understand the connection.
I was one of the viewers who understood the connection - but does that mean I thought it was going to last? Nope. Not at all.
See, I think Jef is actually too good for Emily. "What?" you might be asking. Well, yes - he is. While Emily seems like a nice enough gal, what she really likes is glitz and glamor and money. Jef has the money - what he doesn't have is glitz nor glamor.
Yes, he used to be a male model. Yes, he is quite stylish. But when it comes right down to it, Jef is the one who will get his heart broken - or at least, that was my prediction.
According to US Weekly, Emily was caught sexting someone else. I dunno - I can't imagine Emily sexting... but yes, I do find myself believing that she texted someone else.
RealitySteve further states that US Weekly caught up with the dude she was sexting with - and we'll have more scoopage next week.
I don't know what's true and what's not true - what I do know is that this relationship is doomed.
Relationship Review: Two toe-tags - this relationship is dead!